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Bumper Stickers

This Cambridge, MA Jeep's window presents a difficult case in bumper sticker analysis. What is the person like who would assemble such a collection?

We can see the author wishes to make clear their preferences for beer ("beer" and "Coors Light") and for boobies ("Boobies Make Me Smile"), top left. Crass, but straightforward.

Yet there is also "Chobani ❤️ Scientists" southeast of center. Chobani, as a signifier, stands in stark contrast to beer and boobies. And what are we to make of "❤️ Scientists"? Googling "chobani heart scientists" reveals a 2014 controversy in which Chobani, as part of their healthy-natural-foods marketing, put the phrase "Nature got us to 100 calories, not scientists" on their yogurt lids. Backlash ensued, and Chobani apologized.

The bumper sticker appears designed to reassure the world that Chobani actually does ❤️ scientists, in spite of this. But why would private individual buy and display a bumper sticker whose message is basically one of damage control? Who would be invested enough in the dispute between Chobani and scientists that friendly relations between those groups would be a central part of their identity? We may imagine a Greek yogurt-lover who is also a scientist, in addition to being a boobies-lover and Coors Light fan.

There is also the mystery of "Lifted, So My Dick Doesn't Drag" on the top right. At first blush, "Lifted" seems to refer to a higher state of being -- perhaps an in-phrase signifying both spiritual uplift and participation in a movement, just as the followers of Lil B call themselves "based". For a spiritual message, it is jarringly crass. Particularly the insinuation that the un-"lifted" people are some type of monstrous ape who walk around with their dicks dragging on the ground. I am intrigued.

On second sad thought, maybe "lifted" just refers to the fact that the Jeep's wheels are higher than those of other cars. The Jeep's dick would then be its tailpipe.

I don't know what the flag is.